how long is the hair under there?

Lately I’ve been struggling with the length of my hair. It has been many lengths over the years, and that includes the past year while covering it.  While there have been pros and cons at each length – I cannot seem to decide what feels like the right choice at this stage in the game.

So tonight, I have no great insights of my own, I just ask – fair covering friends – how long is your hair under there? How did you decide what length to keep it?


14 thoughts on “how long is the hair under there?

  1. my hair goes way past my shoulderns. it’s the first time in forever that it is this long. It annoys the heck out of me, BUT the husband loves it, so even though I threaten to cut it weekly, I never do.

  2. I keep mine mid-back length. My husband likes it long. My hair is thick and heavy but I usually just wear it in a bun under my tichel. During the summer I tend to braid it and use a different headcovering style. When it gets hot, I just need it off my neck.


  3. Mine falls to just above the shoulders. I chose this length by pulling it into my preferred pony height and then cutting off the excess. A little evening out and slight layering and it is perfect. It has movement a volume even after a day under a scarf and no headaches like I had when it fell to the middle of my back.

  4. Mine’s a few inches past my shoulders. It’s been various lengths between pixie and almost to my bum. DH likes it long and I prefer it that way myself. Mid-back is pretty standard for me. I can wear it in a bun under a tichel or hat and in a beret i just leave it loose inside.

    I prefer a little length because it all stays where I want it.

  5. Ok i know i am of few but mine is pixie length short. I have uber thick curly hair. Thick that i have to buy special bands to hold it in a pony. I tried for years to thin it, wear it just below my chin in a short pony, and finally i gave up. I wear a sheitel full time and i feel like free new woman under my cap. No more long locks for me unless i purchase them.

  6. Mine is just below shoulder length, in (outgrowing) layers. However, it is thinning… I’m shedding awfully right now, as I have given birth about 3 months ago. I might have to cut it if it looks too shaggy.

    However, I hope to grow it longer/long again, because it’s easier to gather under a cover. With short hair, I always have trouble with strands peeking out eventually.

  7. I realized I should probably answer this myself too, huh?

    My hair has been a variety of lengths and styles since I started covering – from pixie short to mid-back, and everything in between. I have found that short is great for hats and long is better for scarves. The problem is that I wear both equally!

    Husband likes it long and straight, but I don’t see the point in frying my hair to put it up under a scarf, when the minute it goes into the bun, it’ll get kinky again anyway – so I don’t and he’s just left out of it. Plus, while he prefers it, he is a good man and says its my hair and my choice (as long as I don’t wear a sheitel, of course)

    *le sigh*

  8. I’m pretty sure DH would have an aneurysm if I started wearing a sheitel. Though I’ve definitely considered it. It’d be exponentially easier for work (retail) than wearing my hair up every day.

    • Yes, we are an anti-sheitel family. Though I often sometimes wish I had one, I know I never ever will (I have a whole post on why I don’t sheitel, and another on why I wish I did – perusal of the hair covering tag should bring them up quickly)

  9. mine is mid-back… maybe a tad shorter. my husband likes it long but it gives me a terrinly neckache and headache when I have it too long. I sometimes want to cut it short again (like I did before I became observant) but I think my tichels would never stay put so… for now it’s this length and I shove it in some weirdo bun thing under my coverings. I am considering cutting it to just above the shoulders… I toy with the idea. but it’s taken me so long to grow it I just don’t know…

  10. (May I just preface this by saying that I stumbled across your blog the other day and I am absolutely loving it?! Thank you! And now I’m getting up the gumption to comment on all of these back posts, so please forgive me that possible annoyance.)

    I have been wrestling with hair-covering for some time. (Hey, if Yisrael means “wrestles with G-d”, I figure I’m at least on the right track. Even if I haven’t come to a decision yet… I just want it to be a thoughtful decision, whatever I choose. And I want my choice to be open to re-evaluation. As long as there’s personal meaning behind my actions, that I’m not just doing it blindly or out of convenience.)

    I did not grow up Jewish. This isn’t part of how I was raised. And it’s not a part of the Reform community that G-d led me to, that adopted me as one of their own. But my hair has been down past my waist for nearly twenty years. I’m used to people noticing it. Sometimes I’m okay with it, and sometimes I just want to go a little incognito. But I love it. And my husband loves it. When I worked in the receiving department at my last job, I took to wearing it up in a bun which I could quickly twist into place with a hairstick. I worked for five years with people that didn’t know it was as long as it was because they only saw it up. And I find it’s still one of the easiest ways to “hide” it from attention. But sometimes I do feel inclined to cover it all the way, although it’s not a consistent feeling, and I haven’t quite gotten up the nerve to do so in my normal situations. But when those days come, I do feel naked with my hair exposed… Although, in my mind, it’s not about modesty so much as privacy. (Not sure if that makes sense…)

    My husband and I are both involved in the SCA, a living history organisation that studies and re-creates the Middle Ages. Before we were married, it was always my intention that I would start covering my hair in that setting after our wedding, as would be appropriate for a woman in that period. I had to start doing it a little sooner than I thought though because I developed a sun allergy, and with many of our events being outside during the Summer, well, wimples and veils are my friends for sun protection of neck.

    So, I’m getting used to wearing things on my head. I just haven’t gotten up the nerve to make this change in “real life” yet. I don’t want people to think I’m weird in a community where this isn’t the custom, and I don’t want to feel like I have to explain myself. Nor do I want to then be judged by people if I don’t yet feel up to doing it all the time. (I’m not sure that’s a goal of mine. Right now, I really just want to learn to feel comfortable with covering when my heart is telling me that it’s right for me to do so. Even if it’s not every day.) I’ve been collecting scarves, and I love the different ways to tie them. I know that a wig doesn’t feel in keeping with… well, it just doesn’t feel right for whatever it is I’m trying to do.

    Sorry, I’ve gotten way off topic. But thanks for letting me ramble a little here and to try to start verbalising what it is I’m attempting to figure out.

    • I am so glad you feel that our blog is a safe space for you to comment, and to try to verbalize what you are figuring out. After all, thats pretty much what we do when we write these entries as well. There are numerous posts about hair covering, if you click on the tag, and you can read about our various struggles at various points in time. It is not something which I entered into lightly, and is still something which Jessica is struggling with making a decision about.
      The important part, you nailed on the head already. Its about doing it in a way which is meaningful and comfortable for you. You have to be ready to take it on and play with it and make the choices which are best for you.
      I hope you will continue to read and comment and be a part of our discussions!

      (PS – My brother is involved with the SCA. So I now feel a special bond to you.)

      • Melissa, thank you. I look forward to checking out the discussions around here and digesting some more thought-food.

        And ::high-five to the SCA connections:: 🙂

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